When things get crazy, don't push me away
by BiPride76
Summary: "Thanks for checking on me pretty boy, but I promise I'm fine." Spencer knew that Derek was disarming him with the nickname and the brief touch, but he couldn't help but blush pink. "You'd tell me if you aren't?" Derek grinned charmingly and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, as if I could hide it from you." or, Derek is actually really good at hiding things from Spencer


As soon as Spencer opened his case file he knew this would be a bad couple of days. The pictures were indescribable and gave him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that even the hardest cases never did.

His eyes flickered to Morgan who was looking down at the file with a blank face. Spencer could see his fingers tightening on the folder, crinkling the pages slightly.

"So, we've been called to the sunny state of Flordia because three young boys have been found dead. Tommy Glover, Frank Case and George Hardway. They've been smothered to death." Garcia recounted, putting the images up onto their screen.

JJ took a quick look before turning her eyes back down to the paperwork. Spencer knew cases like this were hard for her and Hotch especially but if it was what Spencer thought it was then he was mostly worried about Morgan.

"Any signs of sexual assault?"

The question came from Rossi and it was said regretfully, no one was eager to hear the answer, but they needed to know.

"Unfortunately, yes." Garcia sighed. "The average of time between being reported missing and death is approximately two days."

"He's keeping them longer than normal." Reid offered. "That could be either a good thing or a bad thing."

"Let's hope for good?" Garcia asked hopefully and Hotch nodded and stood.

"Wheels up in thirty."

Spencer waited until everyone filed out before catching Morgan's arm.

"Hey," Morgan turned and almost everything in his body language was telling Spencer to leave it alone but he couldn't. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Reid." There was something in Morgan's voice that made Spencer's suspicions rise. He frowned but he couldn't insist that there was something wrong if he was being told otherwise.

He dropped his hand and nodded. "Okay." Spencer stepped back and went to step around Morgan, allowing the subject to be dropped, but Derek placed a hand on Spencer's hip to stop him.

"Thanks for checking on me pretty boy, but I promise I'm fine." Spencer knew that Derek was disarming him with the nickname and the brief touch, but he couldn't help but blush pink.

"You'd tell me if you aren't?"

Derek grinned charmingly and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, as if I could hide it from you."

Apparently, Morgan could hide it very well.

Over the course of the next couple of days, all they were talking about were these young boys. Reid was really good at compartmentalizing and focusing on the facts.

The only downside to that is he sometimes forgot about immediate social cues and emotional ticks. So Spencer didn't immediately notice when Morgan stepped out of the room when they found their prime suspect. He didn't notice his shadowed face when another boy had gone missing. And he didn't notice when Morgan didn't offer up any information as they gave the profile.

But Spencer noticed when he went to touch Derek's shoulder to tell him it was time to go.

Derek flinched.

It wasn't anything overly obvious but Spencer had been studying Derek Morgan for almost ten years now. He knew every twitch, every flex, every move, he made whether it was voluntary or not.

This was involuntary.

In fact, the only reason Derek even noticed he did it is because as soon as it happened Spencer pulled his hand away and took a cautious step back.

"Der-" Spencer began but Morgan was moving towards the door before his name was even finished being called.

Normally, Spencer would leave Derek to collect himself. Whenever they had a fight, they always put the argument on pause until later, when all the anger was gone to prevent any hurtful things from being said. But this wasn't an argument. Morgan was hurting, plain and simple and Spencer couldn't possibly let him be alone right now.

He followed Morgan to the bathroom. Derek was braced against one of the porcelain sinks with his head down. Spencer could see his chest rising and falling slighty faster than considered normal for him.

"Derek." Morgan didn't look up, but he also didn't lash out, so Spencer took that as an opportunity to step forward. He kept his distance, making sure to give Derek a clear view of the door so he didn't feel trapped.

There wasn't much that was physically intimidating about Spencer Reid, especially to Derek Morgan, but the younger man knew exactly what it was like to be trapped in old memories.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

There was a long silence and Reid began to worry that he wouldn't even get an answer from Morgan until he spoke.

"There's nothing to say."

Spencer frowned. There was always something to say. There was always some part that has never been talked about. But that wasn't what Morgan meant. Spencer kept quiet so he could explain.

"I've been through this." Derek said through grit teeth. "I should be over this by now."

"You went through a traumatic experience Derek." Spencer emphasized. "A traumatic experience at that level? During your formative years? You're still going to be working through it, even now."

"When will I be done working through it then?" Morgan asked helplessly, turning to the younger male.

The question made Spencer's heart twist and he resisted the urge to look away from Derek's strong gaze. "I-i don't know. It's not an exact science."

Morgan growled, but it sounded more like a choked sob than frustration.

"I may not know when you'll get through it but I know how." Spencer placed a gentle hand on Morgan's shoulder and fought back a smile when he didn't flinch. "With me. With us. 'When things get crazy don't push me away.'"

Morgan looked up at that and Spencer tilted his head to the side. "Isn't that what you always say to me?"

Morgan nodded. "So, let me in. I want to help, but I can't if I don't know what's wrong."

Derek chuckled lowly and Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Morgan grinned and shook his head. "I just think it's funny that you're the one telling me to ask for help. Didn't you come to work once with the flu and hid it from us for half the day?"

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Are you ever going to stop bringing that up?"

"No baby boy, I won't." Derek said with a fond smile. Then he sobered. "But thank you. I just can't-the pictures. I can't look at those pictures."

"The pictures, they-"

"I look at them, and I see what could've been." Derek admitted. "I know that I'm fine now, but I can't help but-"

"See yourself." Spencer finished in a morose tone.

Morgan nodded. "But you're right. I should've come to you and I didn't. From now on, I'll try."

Spencer nodded before a small grin creeped across his face. "And so will I."


End file.
